Spinster Sass

What goes around comes around: women hurting men, men hurting women

Men who have passed by my blog sometimes feel the need to point out to me that “not all men are like that, you know–” which I find endearing in a certain way– even if it’s just their egos feeling the need to be justified.

The thing is: women can be horrible people too.  It’s just the small detail where I don’t date women, so I don’t see that side of the story.  A young man who became my facebook friend recently told me that he was having a bad day.

“Why?,” I asked.

He was graphic in his description of his girlfriend’s recent cheating.  I felt bad for him.  After all, women play horrible games too.  The fault doesn’t lie solely with men (duh!)– only my frustration does– because I personally date men.

If I didn’t know there were good men out there, this whole situation might, in fact, be far less frustrating.  I could live in absolutes and say “Ok.  That’s enough.  All men are assholes. The end.”

But it’s not that cut and dry.  And to make matters worse– men are far more fickle than we are when it comes to the way they act.  Men deliberately choose to treat different women with differing amounts of respect.

Case in point: A good friend of mine spends a lot of time with a guy friend of hers.  They’re close, they cuddle, they admit their strong feelings for one another.

And then he starts dating someone else.

Why?

Because he’s on the rebound, looking for something temporary and cares too much about my friend to have her be that temporary fling.

Logically I can somewhat wrap my head around this.  Emotionally?  Well, I’m glad I’m not in it because it makes very little emotional sense to me.

But, back to my original point: Men hurt women; women hurt men.  It’s an unfortunate equality.

I know there are good men out there; I’d like to find one.

But this isn’t one of the 80 million blogs out there with a “someday your Prince will come” theme.  This is a blog about my life– the reality I’ve lived every day for twenty years.

So, are all men like the ones I describe?  Nope.  I never said they were.  I’m just telling you what I’m living. And I, personally, have met a lot of jerks, which works out well if you’re the kind of gal who likes to write out that kind of thing with a humorous twist, and I am one such female.

Men: Take a deep breath.  Get over your own ego. And laugh.

After all you’ve been telling derogatory woman jokes while sidled up in a saloon for centuries.

What goes around, comes around, boys.

 

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