Reason # 522 Why I’m Not Married
A guy friend of mine recently called me out on the carpet? Why?
“Your solutions,” he said mockingly, “are always so pragmatic.”
When I asked him what the problem was with that, he tried to back pedal.
(Since I’ve started this thing with a cliche, I might as well continue. I’m on a roll, after all.)
“Oh, but I like your thinking,” he tried to talk his way out of going in the dog house.
(Cliches 4; Clever witticisms 0)
Yes, I am pragmatic.
I have my pragmatism to thank for my success. I also have my pragmatism to thank for my celibacy.
Because there’s nothing that turns a man on like, umm, like, I don’t know. Can you help me figure it out?
(Read that in a sing-songy helpless high-pitched voice and men’ll come runnin’ like dogs to a dog whistle.)
Helplessness is sexy.
Being able to solve your own problems is not.
Men point this out in various roundabout ways. Through mocking, mostly. Women who can make their own decisions had better be thick-skinned too, because men will be sure to let you know how ridiculous such behavior is in a female.
Why? I don’t know. Probably more male ego bullshit.
Men want to be the pragmatic ones and they’re threatened by a woman with her own mind. A helpless woman is attractive to a man who wants to feel like he has all the answers all of the time.
Or maybe it’s just because of primal attraction.
Can a woman who spends more time thinking than polishing her nails be sexually desirable? Probably not.
Either way, it’s not only a reason I’m single, it’s a reason I’m glad I’m single.
I know I’ve said it before, but I don’t want to be with someone who needs me to be helpless. Nor do I want someone who is helpless himself and wants to latch on to me like I’m his mommy.
I just want an equal partner who can take care of himself and enjoys the fact that I can too.
What’s that? Oh, gotta go. Aerosmith’s “Dream On” in playing on the radio– and it’s the official sponsor of this entry.