Spinster Sass

A call to women

A call to women

Today I have officially been blogging for a month, and though women’s day was officially yesterday, there’s a valid point that– especially when it comes to safety– every day is women’s day.

I recently received this chat from a facebook follower


and it got me thinking.

Somewhere in the Bible it says “Let your yes be your yes,” meaning that you should keep your word.  But what I’d like to say today is “let your no be your no.” Don’t diminish the word by saying “no” and laughing because you really mean yes.

By all means, play hard to get, be hard to get. You should be worth the fight.

But don’t ruin “no” for the rest of us.

Because, after all, we might be put in danger by saying “no” to the wrong man who thinks we mean “yes.”  I shouldn’t need to tell you this in this day and age of rape awareness.

Am I making it up? Consider this meme that recently crossed my facebook path:

Women's Language

No, not everything on the internet is true, to be sure, but I think there is some truth reflected in what was intended to be humor.

Am I blaming the victim? I sure hope not.  All I want to do is help protect rape victims, and we all have the responsibility to do that.  One strategy to that end is clear communication.

 I understand it might be confusing for men if a whole lot of women go around saying “no” when they mean “yes” especially when the airways are filled with the lyrics of  songs like “Blurred Lines” (absolute bullshit by a guy named Thicke– aptly named, isn’t he?)

So, just as I’ve taken back “spinster” I’d like to take back the word “no.”

Women: Let your no mean “no!”

Absolutely no blurred lines, just no.

And men: if she says no, hear no.  Don’t keep pushing.

Then we can all be more decent, respectful people, and wouldn’t that be a better world for us all to live in.

PS Why I have I blurred the lines on this guy’s identity (when I could, very fairly, call him out on the carpet)?  Because he has a lot to learn. And the optimist in me hopes he at least thinks twice the next time a woman says no.

It’s also a sad statement that I appreciate the fact that he actually stopped after I told him off, as it’s been my personal experience that many a man does not.


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One thought on “A call to women

  1. Pingback: Did I mention that “no means no?” and other rants on respect | sassyspinster

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