Cross *him* off the list!

The annals of PSM– potential soul mate

How could I so grossly misread the way a man looks at me ?

At 39 years old, I am pretty sure I know what a look of desire is on a man’s face.  And repeatedly, over years– 15 to be exact– every time I see him?

That’s a lot of years of longing looks.

I don’t want to even allow the slightest sliver of a ray of hope into this situation, but part of me wonders if it’s because I spoke first.  I mean, what does it mean when a man looks at you longingly for fifteen years and then, one day, you decide to give him a chance, and he says he doesn’t like you?

It must be one of the inner workings of the male ego I don’t understand.

But good god! I gave him 15 years to come clean. Maybe he’s confused.

Well, if he is confused, I  don’t have to be.  If he said he doesn’t like me, I’m not going to sit around waiting for him to change his mind.

If he says “just friends,” just friends it is.  Think me wise if you want to, it’s just that I have played that game out once already.  So it’s not that I’m wise. It’s just that sometimes I learn from the dumb mistakes I make. I’ve already had a relationship with the man who wanted me enough that he didn’t want anyone else to have me, but not enough to actually spend time with me. It was flaky and unfair. But I was in my 20s then and I had more patience and understanding.

I am no longer in my 20s. So just friends it is. Even if I know he’s full of shit.

So, I am crossing Potential-Soul-Mate (PSM) off the list.  Well, at least until he comes to his senses.


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